Tuesday, August 28, 2007


The inception of the GSM in '01 was of course a welcome development in Nigeria and a lot of us folks felt that we were 'getting there' upon acquisition of our own lines and phones... But of course, the gsm has come fraught with its attendant wahala as well...
It has wrecked relationships/marriages, caused people to lose jobs and caused untold embarrassment to lots of people.
Am I making sense here? I'm willing to bet I'm not, but let me share some stories with you...

1. I have these friends from Secondary School, we all know each other and I recently found out both of them are not so cool with each other anymore, they're only on Hello-Hi levels... Caused some surprise I tell you, so I enquired from them separately as to what the matter was...I asked the girl first and she went, "don't mind him jo...I saw him at a wedding and he was being very cold so I just decided to give him space since then..." Humph...nothing there...I asked the guy and he was like "I saw her at a wedding...some of my friends I went with were admiring her from afar so I told them, OH, I know that babe now, we were in school together, bla bla bla..she's my buddy"... he further decided to call her to prove "tightness?" to his guys and they all watched her from where they were seated....He saw her reach into her bag.....take her phone....look at the caller name... make a really nasty face and return the phone into her bag...he assured me it wasn't funny as his guys still yap him about it to date... Of course they 'ran into' themselves at the wedding but he was not as warm as she wanted him to be...

2. I was driving out with my hubby one weekend and he got a call from one of his Oga's at work... he was supposed to be at work that morning but did not go thanks to my *clears throat* persuasiveness.. anyway, he checked his phone and saw his oga's number and asked me to answer and tell him he had gone out and left his phone at home. Here's how it went:
Me- Hello?
Mr. T- Hello Madam, how are you? Give the phone to Mr. Nyemoni, tell him it's Mr. T
Me- I'm sorry but he's not around, he.....
Mr. T- (laffing really hard) Hahahaha...Tell him I'm driving behind him...so he's sending his wife to cover up for him eh? Hahahaha
Let's just say we're glad the guy is an understanding Oga or else....

3. My daughter has on countless occasions tried to embarrass me when I do the "my husband left his phone at home thing"...she always screams, my daddy is at HOME!!! lol..Now when I want to lie, I run of her earshot....

4. There are countless incidents of people reading their partners text messages and finding out what they really did not expect... I don't want to go into that because I heard too may horror stories... People please...share your GSM gist! Laterz!


`moni

36 comments:

DiAmOnD hawk said...

oh goodness... i burst out laughing at #2 that was a good one... yep... definitely good to have an understanding boss w/a nice sense of humour

SET said...

LOL THIS IS FUNNY. I CAN NOT REMEMBER ANY PARTICULAR GIST. I LEAVE MINE HOME WHEN I AM MAD AT MY BF AND DON'T WANT TO BE TEMPTED TO CALL OR ANS HIOS CALLS OR TEXT. I CHECK MY MESSAGES ALL DAY FROM WORK AND WHENI GET HOME THERE ARE A BUNCH OF MISSED CALLS, OF MOST FROM MY WORK PHONE. LOL

Omodudu said...

lol

catwalq said...

cell phones can be the biatch!!!
also, they are serious gbese causers

princesa said...

GSM...real wahala!
The thing about this GSM stuff is dat because there is no area code, lots of peeps lie and get away with it.
Unfortunately sometimes they are not so lucky and they get caught.

lol@ #3. Kids...innocence.

Chxta said...

D gist plenty. Maybe it would inspire my next post...

How u dey? Hubby and pikin nko?

Ugo Daniels said...

hahahaha...very funny @ the 2nd one. I've experienced something similar :)

azuka said...

Kids, kids...

My 2 cents said...

Moni,

My own gsm wahala was on one trip to Naija, I was on my way to a friend's office.
I had just gotten off the phone with him and dropped the phone in my handbag but the phone redialled him and he heard me telling the people in the car all his business, especially how he's just my friend and the reasons I could never date him.

When I got to his office he related everything to me word for word. To say I wish the ground could swallow me is an understatement..lol!

pamelastitch said...

LOL!!

Very funny.....

i have no GSM stories :-(

Jeff Corbin said...

#1. The guy was definitely giving her the cold shoulder. I mean why tha hell didn't he go over to say hi to her?

#2. Hilarious...simply hilarious. His boss is officially a cool guy in my book.

#3. Ya gotta love the innocence of a child. :)

#4. Long time ago i got a call from an unknown number and the girl claimed she was an admirer and was all over me...well i took the bait just to see what tha hell was going on (the number was hidden). A couple of minutes of discussions and me asking her to send me her number since it was hidden and also to setup a date or something and we'll see whats up. And the next thing i know, i get a txt from my then current GF telling me she can't trust me anymore as she was the person on the phone a couple of minutes ago. :( Yeah....i hate the damn things...lol!

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

Oga driving in the car behind! Now that is classic.

With me, if someone starts a conversation about soething I don not want to talk about, I start shouting into the phone "Hello? Hello?" Then I start talking o myself "This useless phone, oh. Maybe reception..." I say hello a few more times and hang up! lol!

Atutupoyoyo said...

LOL. Nice one. Did you ever watch the Naija movie, GSM Wahala?

If your cell phone has stab wounds in the number pads.... your phone has an overpowering funk of cheap perfume... the phone’s faceplate is a leopard print... draped around the phone is a tiny fur scarf...

You are a WOMAN SHORT ON CLASS BUT LONG ON FINGERNAILS.

uknaija said...

Great post. Your examples were really funny. I know of two broken marriages as a result of text messages since GSM came to Naija, but then it's also international- think David Beckham and Thierry Henri...

Rinsola said...

LOL, Hilarious

bighead said...

Thats really funny. It makes me uncomfortable when I see folks lie on the phone about their current location, I hope I'm never in that position where I have to do it.

anju said...

@ uknaija, I'f what we read in softsells is true- Femi Kiti and his wife broke up over text messages

Kpakpando said...

children ehn... see as your pikin wan open ya yansh, hehehehe.

You're very right about cell phones causing yawa sha, actuatlly it's text messages, pictures and all the extra bells and whistles that cause more of the wahala these days. I can't tell you how many times I've gone through someone's text messages to catch them in a lie sha. One of my friend's boyfriend takes his cell phone with him to the toilet because he knows she's going through his phone, and what would have been an otherwise normal shit turns into him being knee deep in shit.

Linda Ikeji said...

im one of those who checked and saw.not advisable! great post

LurLar said...

lol.....i have heard lots of weird stories...but can;t remember any now.Nice Post.

Arewa said...

ouch i can jus imagine how the guy @the wedding must have felt. POOR THING.

Lol...i BET U DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO SAY WHEN UR HUSBANDS OGA MENTINED THAT HE WAS DRIVING BEHIND U GUYS..LOL

cinnamonqueen said...

All these GSM mess-ups are hilarious! Thank God he got out of no2 unscathed and still employed.

In my head and around me said...

I have heard people walking on my Lagos street and yelling into their phone about how they are at the Kaduna bus park.

Carlang said...

Ha ha. I think your examples are hilarious. I also think...
hold on a sec...

"Hello?
Yes sir?
No sir i'm walking on the project.
Yes sir.
I'm on my computer doing it right now as we speak.
i'm dedicating my full time to it.
Browsing?
Haba Oga. Noo. I'm working on my system.
Blogging? How can. God forbid!!
Bye bye sir.
Say hi to madamn."


Ehe...
where was I...
i also think we've all suffered some advantags of having GSM phones....

lol.

TaureanMinx said...

So many times i've been on 'Eko Bridge' while i'd prob be getting dressed all the way in my house.

Ugo Daniels said...

Ok, i remembered a GSM gist. I had this ring tone in my former nokia 3650, Hit'Em Up by Tupac. So i was at home and forgot to change it to something milder and 'vulgarless'

It happened i got a call when some visitors came to see my dad, i was also in da living room. The phone started blasting, Fcuk you bitches, nigger, i fucked your wife, fuck this, fuck that, die muthafucker, DIE

Thing is Dad hates anything with F-word. He just calmly took the phone, excused himself and smashed it..LOL!

Anyways, it paved the way for a new better phone the next day :)

Aijay said...

I could have sworn I left a comment here.
Lol @ Ugo's comment.
My dad also smashed my 1st cellphone for reasons I can't disclose here. Lol. Let's just say I was very naughty at the time. Hehehe.
I didn't understand why he did that though, cos he got the phone for me in the first place & he knew he would be the one to replace it.
He replaced it with an even better one. Lol.
Dads behave funny sometimes.

Oya update!!! Lol.

pamelastitch said...

I still have no story to share :-(

Uzo said...

Well..the concept of mobile phones is one that my subconsious doesnt understand. LOL...I am constantly leaving my phone everywhere but on me...People complain all the damn time

princesa said...

Ok here is my own gist.
This morning my computer engineer was in my office fixing my system when his phone rang. Turns out it was his boss and the guy was doing his own personal runs.
na so the guy tell him boss say he was stranded at Ikotun bustop becos the bus drivers were on strike.
I couldnt help laughing as i imagined his boss seeing him then and there.

Oya update!

UnNaked Soul said...

LMAO!!!
GSM has caused many wahala... and I know the uncountable lies that the "gsm" thing has caused... LOL

Zahratique said...

Hehe, thats a really understanding boss!

Children fit fall person hand sometimes sha!

femme said...

i have a story but a good one.

my dad would call me to find out where i was, but i was with my boyfriend right beside him in lagos, and he would say let me talk to dora(not real name) my best friend. id hang up, call her to tell her im diverting my call to her phone, it would ring and she'd answer. my father loved her, so she did the whole we are good girls reading for our final year exams routine.
we had this process down to a part and i did the same for her when her mum called.
cell phones rock!

A Kel called Wonder ...... said...

Hilarious! @ No 2 lol

I put mine on silent most times. Or when i don't really want to talk i pretend to be sleeping, meanwhile am wide awake. And oops i also am guilty of checking my man's phone, out of boredom, somehow i just want to know everything he's up to. I trust him and honestly am looking for a woman oe her text.That would be his loss or hers if there's anything like that.

Onome said...

ave gotten into a fight with a friend over gsm, he claimed he saw me somewhere while i told him i was elsewhere...he dint even let me defend myself. not to mention lack of credits, malfunction of phone chargers, seeing and wanting d latest handsets etc.....yep gsm get wahala.

Calabar Gal said...

I'm a spoilsport - cant think of any but I enjoyed reading everyone's stories.

 

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